Not on the bright side...

This virtuous girl journey is very hard. I always figured that if a person is doing well people will want to be on board with you and be a part of the positivity, but I have realized I was wrong. Most of the people that were a part of my PARTY LIFE are not down with this journey that feels right for me. Let's just call this group "them" it's sad to say but in that group I can also say that family members are included. This makes me extremely SAD! But of course I must not dwell on "them."

I pray that GOD guides me to great people that truly want the best for me.

Trying to stay positive.

E.I.

the FOUNDATION.

Today was amazing! I was able to really bond with my father.We talked about Jim Morrison and he shared some lyrics with me that I plan to record someday in the near future.....I realize how important it is to have such a close relationship with my dad, NOW.

When I was younger I had my dad around, but only on the weekends....and then out of nowhere he would be living with us again...and then my mom would kick him out...and so the cycle began....As far back as I can remember my family was never stable...it never felt like we were a unit....my parents were on a roller coaster of love....my sister was dancing and as soon as she could get a boy she got one and held on to him(her escape)...my brother had soccer and girls( A LOT OF GIRLS, I always loved hearing stories about his fun life)...and then there was me...I was like the family "doll"....when they weren't too busy with their own lives they would pick me up and play with me for a while then when more important things came a long i was placed back in my room to be alone......TRUST ME I AM NOT COMPLAINING....When i was alone was when I had the best time...I was able to write, listen to music, and plot all of the adventures I was going to get into once I was a teen!

Anyway so as you can see I didn't give a rats ass about really getting to know these people.....but now that I'm older and have "lived" I can honestly say my two favorite people in this world are MY PARENTS. They are fun, crazy, adventurous, music-loving, unstable humans like me and I enjoy every minute with them. After all their crazy psycho love is the reason that I am here.

You may wonder why I'm writing soooo much about my parents and it's because they are a key part to this VIRTUOUS WOMAN journey. They give me genuine advice and listen to me when EVERYONE( close relatives,friends,co-workers,friends,friends) else is so selfish that they hear what I'm saying but they don't listen to a single word........ANOTHER HUGE LESSON THAT YOU WILL LEARN ON THIS JOURNEY: everything in life needs a good foundation..my foundation in the journey is GOD & MY PARENTS........START WITH A GOOD FOUNDATION! it doesn't matter if it's your grandma, grandpa, godparent, best friend, sister, neighbor, boyfriend, etc..etc......Make sure that foundation is SOLID! Find people that will have your back and steer you in the right direction....trust me once you start praying GOD will help keep the foundation solid...and if it isn't then it's a good thing you learned now instead of when you had already built a mansion on quick sand.......ha does that make sense? Hope so.

E.I.

Virtuous...what does that even mean?!!?

A couple of weeks ago my life was changed by DANIELLE STEEL. She appeared on the View and mentioned that once we become women our only goal in life should be to become virtuous women. I don't know if she said it exactly like that, but i heard it that way. Anyway right away I had to look into this whole virtuous woman thing and to my surprise the bible came into play. In the bible it states that we are called to be virtuous wives.....but I'm modern and young and I changed that little word so that it could relate to me. (LOOk it up Proverbs 31:10-31) and in the dictionary Virtuous is defined as... an adjective ,conforming to moral and ethical principles; morally excellent; upright:2. chaste: a virtuous young person.)

How rude of me i haven't introduced myself. My name is E.I. I am 23years old. I was raised in the VALLEY(San Fernando Valley, CA) I am a total valley girl, but I've been a lot of other things along the way. I started partying around the age of 14. By partying I mean drinking....a lot.

By 16 I was getting drunk regularly.....and I was already "hooking up" with guys. Not very lady like.

I wasn't done partying yet at the age of 19 i began taking and snorting a lot of PILLS...met my druggie boy friend..

By 21 i was snorting COKE reg....still hooking up with my druggie boy friend

By 22 i was trying to stay sober...but that didn't work so I kept up my alcoholic/druggie career....and continued to hook up with boys...

By 23...I am on my virtuous path(or at least I'm aware that this is the path I want.)(still fighting lust,drugs,and party demons)

This virtuous woman journey should be interesting and new. I want to share it with young women everywhere. I lost hope at a very very young age, but thanks to D.S. I feel that I can over come all of these bad habits(or as I like to call them...little demons.)

SO young women everywhere listen up!!!! Hope you enjoy this year with me and I hope you can grow from your mistakes, but also laugh at them....don't be ashamed because it's a journey and you'll never be alone....you've got me to mess up from time to time with you...I'M ONLY HUMAN! ;)

Ciao! Ciao!

E.I.